In short, my labor and delivery experience was hell.  Twenty six hours of labor, two hours of pushing, resulting in an emergency (and super frightening) c-section.  To add insult to injury, I didn’t even get the “preserved region” benefit of the cesarean.  I, like women who deliver vaginally, had a battle wound.

During my hospital stay I knew exactly when there was a shift change.  A nurse would come in to change my bed pads and I’d see her head fly up in alarm from between my legs, “Oooo … I thought you had a c-section?”  No, lady … I’m just bedridden and catheterized for kicks.  All the cool kids are doing it.

I often wonder if when I have my next child I should have a repeat c-section or attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).  There are risks involved in a VBAC, but good Lord do cesareans suck.  Then again I’d also list hemorrhaging and an unplanned hysterectomy as pretty high on the suck factor.  Sometimes I think a repeat c-section is the way to go.  I try to convince myself that maybe it won’t be so bad the second time around if it’s planned.

And then I read this article from BBC News that reports, “Mothers who give birth naturally are more responsive to the cry of their baby than those who choose to have a Cesarean.”  According to new research women who undergo a c-section do not experience the same release of hormones as women who deliver vaginally and this initially affects the mother/baby bond.

My favorite part of the article is the little ditty about how women who have a c-section should cuddle their newborn skin to skin “straight after birth.”  Ummmm … hellooo?  What are they going to do?  Lay the kid on my leg?  The abdominal region is pretty much out of commission and my first c-section involved an oxygen mask and all kinds of crazy contraptions on my face.  And by God, they better not lift that flimsy, paper curtain.  If that goes up and I get a glimpse, I’m dead.  Coronary.

Basically … this sucks.  If I’m not responsive to the cry of my baby I will only be like 25% perfect.  That is just not good enough.  Now I have to weigh my options.

VBAC – die … or not die and be like Mother Earth, responsive, fabulous, all-nurturing.

C-Section – be the worst mom ever, detached, “Baby?  what baby?  I don’t hear my baby.” … or beg them to lay the kid on my leg and hope we connect.
Decisions, decisions.

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